BY NICK BYGRAVE (’15)

4:33 pm

I know, I know. I’m writing this at a reasonable hour and that’s problem. It’s a problem because I quite like writing when it’s past midnight and can’t sleep, and also because I’m afraid this entry (should I call these entries?) will feel different because I’m not sleep deprived. But it’s a Saturday, and I don’t want to be home tonight, alone, writing an article no one will read. That’s fine on a Wednesday, not a Saturday.  Anyway, let’s talk (or rather you read what I’ve written) about doing what you want and that sort of thing.

I’ve always maintained that as long as you don’t bother anybody else, do whatever you like. You want to squirt jelly into your shoes? Go right ahead. You want to repaint your entire house with pictures of Hitler? Be my guest. And if I am to be involved with your affairs, I’m there to either assist or get out of the way. The problem with this is that most anything you do affects other people. You can’t spend your evenings squirting jelly into shoes if you are forgetting to feed your pets. You can’t paint your house with Hitler’s likeness if you have children, or rather you shouldn’t. This reasoning is why I’m hesitant to buy a motorcycle. I want one very, very badly, but when I kill myself on it, my parents will be heartbroken.

Another problem with doing what you like is that it’s usually bad for you, or illegal, and irresponsible. If my brain had its way all the time, I would have been dead years ago. “50 Hershey bars and twice as many gallons of honey. Fried in Sugar. On a plate made of Cocaine.” Is what I assume my brain wants. According to every health network and cooking show on TV, my body needs kale and exercise and sleep. I give it none of things every day, and I’m still breathing and my limbs still work (just). And it’s not just food and nutrition. My brain also wants me to be some sort of super spy, because it likes adrenaline rushes and taboos and other things that are usually bad for it. If I asked my brain what it wanted to do today, it’d say “Let’s try skydiving naked. And then we will drive at a million miles an hour on the wrong side of the highway, but only if we use blindfolds.”

But you know what? People need things that are bad for them. Stimulants and so on. Because it makes you interesting and enjoyable to be around, and it’s fun. Moderation is key here, probably, but enjoying a cake and a drink after a 5 days of agony at work or school is very much ok. It boils down to this: I’d rather talk to a person who enjoys beer than a person who enjoys exercise. A man that eats veggies and fruits can’t have as much character as a man enjoying a glass of corner shop piss at 3 am. But what do I know. Bed time.